CONTROLS: Use the up and down arrow keys to move forward and backward, use the left and right arrows to turn left and right, use the CTRL key to shoot, hold down the ALT key and press any arrows to strafe, and hold down SHIFT to sprint. Use the number keys to swap weapons. You can also use SPACE to open doors, use switches, and press buttons.

THE GOAL: zorch everything bro it's Chex Quest

NOTE: This is a... family-friendly FPS??? What???